2 Corinthians 4:11 says, "For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body." This verse is the answer I've been looking for over the past year in my search to understand what it means when I say I want to love God more. I have prayed, read the bible, meditated on, journaled, reflected, and discussed with friends what love is and what loving God more looks like in my life. I have been confused, frustrated and almost afraid of what the answer might be at times. But (the merciful "but") this scripture made it so clear--I am to die to my worldly self (translation: my own needs, wants, desires, justifications, etc.) so that Christ's character (translation: God is love) may be revealed in me.
Hmmph. Well, that seems pretty simple. And it's clear as day in my mind. No confusion, honest. I guess it's time to see if I truly want to love God more because we all know that knowledge without implementation is useless. What am I going to do with this new knowledge?
As I updated my friend Brian on this last night, he shared some insight--oftentimes when we ask for something from God, he doesn't just give us what we ask for. Instead, he gives us the opportunity to demonstrate more effort on our part to become that way. For example, when we ask for patience God doesn't always wave a magic wand and "wa-la" make us more patient, right? Oftentimes He will provide the opportunity to become more patient. Think about it--how many times have you prayed for more patience and then found yourself in the slowest line at the grocery store and behind the slowest car in every lane for the next two weeks? Or maybe you find yourself waiting for an answer for an additional month, or six months. And it's in these moments of opportunity that we find that God is more than enough for whatever it is that we want. He has enough patience, joy, love, grace, kindness, and mercy for any situation that we're ever in. Once we ask for it, we must make the connection between wanting it and knowing that God provides it.
So go on, ask for it. Do you want, to want God more? Do you want more mercy for those around you? Are you desiring more patience? God can knock your socks off if you let him.