Friday, February 1, 2013

Motherhood & Failure: a changing perspective

Many people ask how I like staying home as a mom.  My usual response includes something to the effect of "I love it but it definitely comes with its own set of challenges."  I guess I include the part about the challenges because I don't think enough peeople associate the challenges that go hand in hand with being a stay at home mom.  I am not trying to solicit your pity here friends, just trying to be honest.  Many times I think people consider the life of a stay at home mom as easy, casual, laid back et cetera.  Don't get me wrong, it can be those things, but as I have learned in the past nine months, staying at home full time to raise children is an excellent way of refining your relationship with Christ and Christ pointing out your sinful nature.  As I mentioned in our 2012 Christmas card I have learned much about Christ's grace in my life - recently I have been working through feeling like a failure as a mother.

A failure?  Yes, you read correctly.  With my type A personality I am driven to become proficient at skills that I enjoy using.  Example - I enjoy cooking and baking so I have spent many hours practicing my amateur skills in that area.  I love to read cook books and blogs about food and am perpetually experimenting with new recipes and techniques that seem doable.  As I have found out though, mothering or parenting is not a skill to be attained.  I am humbly finding out that I will often feel like a failure in this area of my life if I consumed with a "me" centered approach in trying to attain proficiency.  That's not to say that I won't become better at it overtime.  My perspective is changing though - God has called me to stay at home and help raise our children on a day-to-day basis and He has been generous in making this possible for our growing family.  Instead of just a skill that I am trying to become proficient at though I guess I am starting to see how God will use motherhood in my life as His way of refining, growing, teaching, admonishing, and yes, humbling me.

I am a new sojourner on this road called parenting.  I am beyond grateful for the women in my life who have already encouraged me, lifted me up in prayer and shared their wisdom and insight on all things practical when it comes to raising kids and even more importantly what God has to say about being a mom.  And I look forward to continuing to have my perspective modified as I travel down this path.


Jennifer said...

Great post, friend!

Amy Gerak said...

With you as a sojourner and humbled by parenting always! What joy, what trial, what amazing stuff from our Lord. Love to you, Amy :)